Seasons of Life

When my kids were babies and toddlers I had several people tell me that this was just a season of life and it would pass. I hated hearing those words! They did not have my kids or live in my house. They had no idea what my day to day life looked like. They had no idea how badly I needed someone anyone to reach out to me. I was in a very lonely place when my oldest was two. I had just had my second baby and quit my job to stay at home. On top of that we were seeing some disturbing behaviors and signs that something was not right with our two year old. When Our oldest was 3 we had a 1 year old and I was pregnant with our third. We went to see a psycologist who told us that he would be better off as an only child. I have never understood why he told us that, what exactly did he want us to do with him?

Some of you may not know this but my oldest son has Aspergers. To say he was a difficult toddler is well the truth. We did not do play dates or go to many fun places because he could not handle it and I did not know how to help him. I spent several years feeling very alone and very judged by people all around me. My mom and my sister were my only saving grace. It felt like people look at Kevin and I like we were terrible parents, that we could not control our child or that we did not do a good job of disciplining him. It was a very hard place to be, alone with a toddler and a new baby. I spent many years with him and two other kids in tow(because I was to afraid to ask anyone for help when my mom could not help)in doctors, counselors, and psychiatrists offices trying to get him help. He had an extremely difficult time at church because each week there were different teachers and some who either did not know him or could not handle him.

I remember being called out of Sunday school several times or they would find us in between services. At 18 months he was the kid banging his head on the floor the whole time till we came to get him. He was the kid that climbed under the table, who refused to color or make the craft they had planned. The kid who covered his ears when they played loud upbeat music to get the kids moving and my heart just broke. He loves to learn and always has/ He loves to read and he will read just about anything in front of him good or bad. I remember being in the check out lines at Walmart when he was in Kindergarten and him reading me the front of the magazines. We are the parents that turn the magazines backwards when we are standing in line! We knew he was a different sometimes difficult kid and it was confirmed when he was in first grade. It answered a lot of our question but we still had a whole bunch more that no one could seem to help us with.

He is the reason we started to homeschool our children. School was not a good fit for him, he could not conform to all the rules. I went to school to eat lunch with him at the end of the first six weeks of school. When we sat down I asked him were the rest of the class was because only about 8 kiddos came in with him. He looked at me with his baby blue little boy eyes and said that if you did not get your behavior chart signed all week you got to have a picnic lunch outside. He then said I will never get to do it, I can't go all week without getting my folder signed. I knew right then that the decision we had be wrestling with to homeschool was the right decision and it needed to happen now. To know that my child already felt like he could never live up to his teachers standards killed me. I love him to death but we still have our days when I just want to drop all three of them off at the front steps of the nearest school. Only because I know it would be easier for me in a way to not have to homeschool them. I also know that I would be called by the school a lot and we would have homework and on and on. I know this is were God wants me to be right now here with my kids. I have also discovered in the midst of my oldest needing my that my daughter needs me just as much to teach her math, it is the subject she struggles with. My youngest struggles with reading and we get to work on that every day one on one.

He is still the kid that does not get invited to birthday parties or to play at other peoples houses and it makes me very sad.He struggles to make friends because he is so different and his social skills are lacking. The one good thing he has going for him is that he loves Boyscouts and feels very comfortable there. He excells at learning the information and being able to teach it to others. His goal is to become and Eagle Scout as quickly as possible. He enjoys going on camp outs every month and Kevin and I love the fact that he has a great group of men who love him and are learning to understand him and all of his quirks! He went with his Troop this summer to Colorado for 9 days and we had no contact with him at all. They told us he did great, not a problem at all and he earned several merit badges while he was there.

Now that that my oldest is 11 he can tell me when he gets overwhelmed by the amount of people or noise. In fact he chooses to stay home when we go certain places with our other two kids because he is either not interested or can't handle the stimulation. I think that as he gets older and matures he is able to ahndle a lot more things than in the past. He is turning into a very handsome young man. can't wait to see what God has planned for him, I know he will do great things. I can hardly believe that he is in sixth grade this year. We still struggle with him and what to do at times but we have come a long way in 8 years.

Life is so Busy!

It has been a while since I have written much. You see we have been a bit stretched thin. My grandfather passed away October 9th and things just kind of got crazy for us from that moment on. We had my grandfathers viewing two days later followed by his funeral the following day. We had family come in from all over the Texas area. Then we packed our house up all weekend long. The following Wednesday we went to Galveston with my inlaws for four days. It was really nice to get away and leave all the stress of moving and my grandfather dieing behind us. We had a very nice time,the weather was great the whole time we were there.

We did several things while we were there. We took the kids to Moody Gardens twice, once to see the rainforest and then to the aquarium. We road a harbor boat and toured the Elisa museum. We rode the ferry and got to watch all the dolphins. We visited Seawolf park and watched the fishermen catch a huge fish. One of the guys even let my father in law reel on in.

We loved the getaway and we were not ready to come back to reality. We came home on Saturday tired and a little sunburned. Then we had to kick our packing into overdrive because we were scheduled to close on Friday. Are we the only people that thinks it is a good idea to go out of town the week before you move? On Tuesday we got a phone call from our realtor that they were moving the closing day to Thursday. So we closed on Thursday, painted all the bedrooms on Friday(my mom and dad helped so much) and we moved all of our stuff Saturday and Sunday. After we got most of the boxes emptied it was Thanksgiving. Before we could turn around it was Christmas time. I finally feel like things have settled down and we have a good routine going. We are loving our new house and the fact everyone has their own bedroom. My kids can't wait till summer because we have a pool!